Today i feel proud

This week has been very productive. I have had to battle through some mental health obstacles. The uphill struggle has turned into a stroll through the lake district rather than Everest which has given me some relief. When my depression turns up at the door, i never know when it will go again. It could be around 3 weeks, maybe 6? the one thing i’m sure of is that it always overstays its bloody welcome. recently my depression has been in short and intense bursts. I have been looking for a job while battling anxiety and going outside has been daunting. especially when i have to be formal to people. i started going for walks. Sometimes the sound of birds help me forget the tangled thoughts for five minutes. Forget the stress of life.

I had an interview this week and afterwards i didn’t feel hopeful at all. My thoughts were always picking out the worse which happened in the interview. Did i say the wrong things? Did they pick up on any awkwardness? despite ragging my brain through barbed wire for 2 days, i eventually had a phone call confirming i had received the job. I can finally relax a little better now knowing i will have work coming my way. What more is that i have been accepted to do an exam for an online job too. It means i can work full time. Half at home when ever i want and half with a company. This is extremely exciting for me as i can work around my mental health if it ever takes a dip. Hopefully this means i can stay in the same line of work for more than 6 months. My goal is to do this for a whole year and pay off all my debt.

If you are going through a rough patch please note that patience is key. It is hard to feel any hope when your are depressed but learn from me that if you just wait a little longer, things will change for the better. So if you feel like you can’t go on any longer, then just wait 2 or 3 more days. Things can change!

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